


a life defined by tenderness

by Ourladyofresurrection



Series: BFU Requests [9]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Adoption, Domesticity, In which Ryan and Shane adopt a kid, Kissing, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej - Freeform, Shane being a good dad, Slice of Life, TJ Marchbank - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tumblr request, parenting AU, ryan bergara - Freeform, shane madej - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23529868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourladyofresurrection/pseuds/Ourladyofresurrection
Summary: “I think your dad would kill me if I sang you a Hot Daga song,” he said, chuckling a bit, stroking a long finger absentmindedly down the smooth length of her spine wrapped in a soft cotton onesie. “You’re gonna love it though...it’s critically acclaimed.”
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Series: BFU Requests [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1369177
Comments: 10
Kudos: 179





	a life defined by tenderness

**Author's Note:**

> I got a kid fic request from an anon on tumblr and just ran with it. This is...sickeningly sweet. Hope you enjoy!

_ Lucia Bergara-Madej _

The inscripted words read definitively on the manilla paper, right along the dotted line. Ryan could see the blurry image of his twinkling eyes through the stamped gold seal etched into the certificate, and he turned to look at Shane, who was pale-faced and unmoving, looking as though he might soon vomit onto Ryan’s sneakers.

“Do you see this?” Ryan said, craning his head up to look at his boyfriend’s face, leaning against his warm, solid chest. “Look,” he said, grabbing Shane’s hand in his own and placing the pad of his long index finger over the words.

_ “This hereby certifies that Lucia Bergara-Madej has been formally approved for adoption by Ryan Steven Bergara and Shane Alexander Madej on this day, June 24th, 2019.” _

Shane’s finger trembled on the page and Ryan turned around to face him, grinning brighter than the sun, “We’re going to be parents, Shane,” he said softly.  Shane remained catatonic, slightly swaying where he stood in Ryan’s apartment. 

“We’re going to be parents!” Ryan repeated, voice nearly breaking with the sheer intensity with which it radiated from his chest, composure be damned. He threw his arms around him in a bone-crushing hug, sending them both toppling backwards onto the bed. Shane landed with a soft  _oof_ as Ryan landed on top of him, but Ryan hardly heard as he covered Shane’s mouth with his own, smiling brightly into the kiss.

* * *

“We’re so pleased that the adoption went through,” Maria, the baby’s biological mom smiled, “this is a difficult process for anyone and as a young mom, I’ve had my fair share of challenges, but I feel over the moon knowing that my Lucy is in capable hands.”

Ryan felt himself tearing up for the fifth time that day, sat inside the adoption office with Shane at his side, gently squeezing his hand. “Thank  you ,” he said thickly, wiping his eye on the back of his hand, “We will take the best care of her, I promise.” He looked sidelong at Shane, squeezing his hand, “We love her already.”

He felt Shane squeeze back. 

_ One, two, three.  _

_ I. Love. You. _

Maria smiled warmly at them, “Of course you will. I couldn’t ask for better adoptive parents.”  She smoothed her long black hair and Ryan thought she looked impossibly young like this— watching her sparkling eyes and bright smile, leaning across the table to pass them a stack of legal documents.

“So, this is it?” Ryan breathed, “This is really happening?”

“She’s all yours,” the present lawyer said, placing a smooth ballpoint pen on the mahogany desk. “Just sign on the dotted line.”

With an excited grin, Ryan placed his hand over Shane’s, and with a flourish of ink, the lawyer smiled, “Congratulations you two. You are now the official parents and caretakers of Lucia Bergara-Madej.”

Ryan buried his face in Shane’s neck, warm, happy, tears coursing down his cheeks. As Shane placed a soft kiss against the side of his neck, Ryan thought he felt him smile.

* * *

“Are you  sure you secured her carseat properly?” Shane frowned, looking at the grey seats of his Chevrolet. 

“I assure you, it’s very sturdy,” Maria smiled, giving the contraption a solid tug to demonstrate. 

Ryan could practically hear the gears turning in Shane’s head as he watched, scratching his beard habitually, almost pathologically.

“Should this car be safe for her? Maybe I should upgrade to a sedan.”

Ryan bit his lip to stifle a bubble of laughter threatening to spill out of his chest. He looked fondly at his overbearing boyfriend, jostling his shoulder a little bit,  “It’s a baby, not an entire pee-wee soccer team, dummy. We’ll be fine.”

“Does she cry in the car?” Shane asked Maria, ignoring Ryan’s jab and desperate attempts to  _give the woman a break, Jesus Christ._

Maria, ever-the-saint, just shook her head, “No. Most babies like the movement actually, just like how they calm down when you hold them against the washing machine.”

“Is that a thing we should do?”

“Only if the baby has colic.”

“What’s colic?”

_“Oookay,_ Big Guy,” Ryan laughed, pushing him into the passenger seat, “give her a break, this isn’t an interrogation.”

“But—“

“We’ve got baby books and the internet to help us. Worst comes to worst, we go pester TJ, he’s a dad too and has some legal obligation to help us.”

“And you have my number if you have any questions,” Maria added, and Ryan laughed, shaking his head.

“Don’t give him any ideas. We’ll be just fine.”

“Please take good care of her,” she said, and Ryan might be offended, if not for the sweet, clearly trusting look on her face. “I know you will. And send me some pictures once in awhile. I’d love to see you two interacting with her when everything isn’t so...”  She made a wild hand gesture and Ryan suppressed a giggle into his hand, pointedly eyeing Shane, who was apparently engaging in somewhat of a staring contest with the baby, who was peering just as owlishly back at him.

“Will do. Thank you so much,” he grinned, giving her a tight hug and then tickling Lucy’s cheek, snug and secure in her carseat.

After exchanging numbers and promises to keep in touch, they parted ways, Ryan getting into the drivers seat and throwing an exasperated look Shane’s way as he pulled out of the parking lot, arm spread across the back of the passenger seat.

“Stop looking at her like that, she’s gonna think you’re judging her,” Ryan chastised him.

“She’s a baby, she doesn’t know what judging  is yet, Ryan,” Shane retorted, but turned his gaze away.

They drove in silence for a few minutes before they stopped at a red light, Ryan reaching over the dashboard to squeeze Shane’s hand, smiling softly at him, “It’ll be okay,” he said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. “I know you think you have to worry about all this so nothing goes wrong, but just try to relax. We’ve got a _baby,_ man.”

“We’ve got a baby,” Shane repeated, sounding a little awestruck.

“We got a baby!” Ryan echoed, grinning.

_“Bah!”_ Lucia exclaimed from the backseat, kicking her chubby little legs. 

“When do they start speaking in complete sentences?” Shane asked, looking curiously at her, as if he’d never seen a baby before in his life.

Lucia stuck her foot in her mouth, lips curling around her tiny sock as she sent it careering through the air, landing with a unceremonious  plop  on Shane’s face.

Ryan laughed, “I love her already.”

“No fair,” Shane huffed, leaning back into his seat as the car rounded the street, “she’s already picking favourites.”

* * *

“I guess we should have learned our lesson about Ikea sets after buying that chair for our office,” Ryan said, bouncing Lucia on his hip.

Shane was crouched on the carpeted nursery surrounded by wooden planks and various bits and pieces of what was supposed to add up to a crib, each one more confusing than the last.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” he said, “I’d read the instructions, but half of them are in Swedish!”

“Here’s a tip, why don’t you try reading the English part first?”

Shane pinned him with a death glare and Ryan recoiled, “Okay, sorry,” he said, laughing a bit as he turned to Lucy, wiggling his eyebrows, “Daddy’s in a bad mood. He’s losing a fight with some planks and screws. Yes he is,  _ yes he is.”_

Lucia smiled a bright, toothless grin back at him, batting her fist enthusiastically through the air.

“Yuck it up, Einstein. Keep ragging on me when our baby ends up sleeping swaddled in one of Obi’s blankets like a Chipotle burrito because Ikea doesn’t know how to make a fucki—“

“Woah! _Language!”_ Ryan reminded him, covering the baby’s ear with one hand and holding her closer to his chest, where she began to gleefully gnaw at his shirt collar.

“She can’t even talk,” Shane grumbled, looking pitiful as he threw down the laminated instruction manual.

“No, but do you really want her first word to be  _fuck?_ ” Ryan mouthed, looking at him pointedly.

“That’s what I thought,” he said as Shane remained quiet, begrudgingly returning to the task at hand. He walked over, pressing a kiss to Shane’s soft hair, ruffling it slightly. 

“I’ve got a hungry little lady to feed. And Shane?” he smiled fondly at him, “For the love of god, just call TJ.”

* * *

Shane eventually caved and called their cameraman over, managing to assemble the crib in record time. Shane sent him off sheepishly, thanking him for the help and turning back to Ryan, who smiled at him.

“What?”

“Nothing. You’re just...you’re a good guy, Shane,” he smiled, walking over and pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s stubbly cheek, revelling in the way it seemed to heat beneath his gentle touch.

All was quiet in the Bergara-Madej household. After a particularly eventful dinner, Ryan had managed to wrangle Lucia into the bath, Shane left to scrape mushy peas off the wall and cabinets. Ryan had returned from the steamed room with a soaked front of his shirt and a very proud grin on his face as he held up the baby, who was wrapped in one of those hoodie-towels shaped like a little bear.

Shane had to admit— it was pretty cute. Nearly as cute as Ryan’s dreamy face as he finally settled in beside him on the bed, grinning from ear-to-ear.

“I just can’t believe we finally did it,” he sighed happily, nuzzling into the crook of Shane’s neck.

“I know, Ry,” he said softly, rubbing his back in small, soothing circular motions. “I know.”

Honestly, he could hardly believe it either. It was almost bizarre, the thought of him being a legal caretaker for a tiny human. The thought of him being a  _dad_. They fell asleep like that, blissfully close and secure in their warmth, a tangle of limbs and heat. But of course, all that was promptly halted when a piercing shriek cut through the air. 

“Shane,” Ryan hissed, shaking his shoulder, _”Shane.”_

_“Huh—wha?”_ he said groggily, roused from a deep sleep.

“The baby,” Ryan said, sounding a bit exasperated, hair falling in wild curls over his forehead.

_ Baby? _

_ Oh right— the baby. _

“Wan’ me to get ‘er?” he slurred, melting into his pillow, eyes fluttering shut. 

“No, I can do it,” Ryan huffed, getting off the bed with a  creak and padding into the other room, immediately beginning to cajole and pacify Lucia, shushing her a few times as the stubborn cries continued. Ryan came back into the bedroom with the squirming baby on his hip, looking exhausted and a little helpless. Shane was no baby expert by any means, but he liked to think he was somewhat of a Ryan expert if there ever was one, and that face meant trouble.

“Alright, Bergara, hand her over,” Shane said firmly, sitting up in bed and opening his arms invitingly in the way he sometimes did to coax Ryan back to bed after a long night of researching for Unsolved.

He supposed it wasn’t really too different. The baby might not be biologically theirs, but comfort was universal, right?

“You sure?” Ryan asked, looking relieved, but hesitant. Shane had barely so much as touched the baby since they brought her home earlier that day.

“Ryan, I’m sure. We’re in this together,” he said softly, reaching for his glasses.

“Alright,” Ryan conceded, handing over the baby, a warm and gentle weight against his chest. “I think she’s hungry, I’m gonna go warm her up a bottle.”

He paused, “Will you be okay holding her for a few minutes?”

Shane looked down at the fussing lump perched on his lap, heart constricting a little, “Yeah, Ry, go take a breather, alright? I got this.”

With one more grateful look, Ryan turned on his heel, going to the kitchen to warm a bottle for her, and if the sound of running water was anything to go off of— get himself a drink.

“Alright, now,” he said, looking down at the sniffling figure on his knee. “It’s  _ allllright.”_

He spanned his hands across her back, supporting her head and began rubbing slow, gentle circles against her back. It always seemed to soothe Ryan, and judging by her doe-eyes and bright, sparkling smile, she was similar to him already.

“You’re just like your dad, you know?” he murmured softly, “Get all worked up over nothing and melt the second someone holds you.”

He hummed softly, “That’s why you need people like me— the skeptics. So you don’t get too crazy, huh?”

The baby, as expected, said nothing, but her cries tapered off and she looked up at Shane almost entranced, fixated on the scruff of his jaw and the curve of his neck.

“Even got the same spooked-out eyes,” he laughed softly, the sound rumbling in his chest. “Just wait til your ol’ dad tells you about ghosts.”

Lucia’s lip wobbled, eyes going glassy, and Shane immediately held her closer, brushing a broad palm over the fine brown curls beginning to grow on her head.

“Shhh,” he soothed her, amazed at how much warmth something so small could give off. “Don’t get all bug-eyed on me. One spooked Bergara is more than enough. When you get a little older, I’m gonna teach you about a little something called  science  and then you and me can make fun of Ryan and his spooky little spectres.”

He sat in silence for a moment, hearing her soft sniffles, as if she wasn’t ready to fully commit to crying.

“I think your dad would kill me if I sang you a Hot Daga song,” he said, chuckling a bit, stroking a long finger absentmindedly down the smooth length of her spine wrapped in a soft cotton onesie. “You’re gonna love it though...it’s critically acclaimed.”

She looked up at Shane curiously, batting her long lashes against flushed cheeks. She really was too cute.  Shane felt a twinge in his heart he hadn’t felt since he first met Ryan, young and bright-eyed in the early months of his new internship at Buzzfeed. A sickeningly warm wave of fondness washed over him as her little pink hands wrapped resolutely around the length of his finger.

_So this is why people do this,_ Shane realized.  _This is why people want...this. I get it now. I get it, and that should scare me more than anything, but it doesn’t._

Interrupting his life-changing revelation, Ryan’s soft footsteps garnered speed as he walked through the door,  “You two have been suspiciously quiet in here, should I be concern—

Ryan’s quip was cut short as he spotted the sight before him, Shane sleepy and soft with that crinkly-eyed smile and Lucia tucked snug against his chest.

“Oh,” he said a little breathlessly, shifting from his feet. 

“What were you expecting?” Shane laughed, “My name’s on those papers too. I’m not entirely incompetent, you know.”

“No, I know. I just...” he looked at them, awestruck, “you were so...frazzled.”

Shane scoffed, looking down at Lucia, bouncing her on his knee, “Me? Frazzled? Ol’ Shane Madej is unshakeable, baby!” he looked at Ryan, holding out a hand, “Give me the bottle.”

“What? Are you sure—“

“I’m sure, Ryan, I’ve got it.”

“Okay,” Ryan said tentatively, handing over the warm cylinder of milk, eyes darting between the babyand Shane’s steady hand with hawk-like precision. “Make sure you support her head and—“

_“Ryan,”_ Shane said, and it was enough to send the little guy blushing at the gentle chastening, watching the exchange.

Shane propped up the baby against the crook of his arm. She wasn’t a newborn, but not quite a toddler either, and had just begun to support her head. Not taking any chances, however, he secured her in place with a broad, firm hold as he tested the bottle’s temperature on the inside of his wrist.  He hummed affirmatively, letting the baby find the nipple and draw it into her toothless mouth, suckling happily as her eyes drew shut.

“See?” Shane said, half to Ryan, half to himself. “Not so hard.”

Ryan watched, jaw-slackened and speechless as he crawled into bed next to them, letting Shane do the work, offering nothing more but a fond smile and a soft nod of encouragement.

“I know you’ve got a thing for throwing food,” Shane said to the baby, free hand patting her leg affectionately. “We’re raising a Pollock, apparently,” he smiled at Ryan.  “Just...don’t spit this up if you can. Landlords don’t typically respond well to mysterious white stains on the walls.”

Ryan bit back a laugh, a soft, exasperated huff of breath escaping him as he rolled his head up to meet Shane’s gaze.  Shane patted her back with firm, even strokes after the bottle was emptied, the baby belching quietly and letting out a yawn before nuzzling against Shane’s chest with a little snuffle.

“Is she—“ 

“Asleep?” Ryan asked, dumbfounded. “Yeah, Big Guy...I think you did it.”

Shane couldn’t help the swell of pride he felt in that moment, watching Ryan’s appraising smile and the small human dozing in his lap. He’d never wanted to _‘Midwest Rise-Up,’_ more than he did right then and there, but he temporarily forfeited bragging rights to not disturb the tiny figure wrapped in his arms.

“Want me to take her to her crib?”  Ryan asked quietly, stroking a hand down her arm, settling on Shane’s

“Nah, I got it,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to Ryan’s forehead as he held Lucia to his chest, making the strides to her nursery, where he lay her down in her padded crib.

He laughed a little, softly as she let out a little snuffle, wriggling in her sleep. “You snore like your dad,” he said warmly, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek with his fingertips and retreating back to their bedroom, where Ryan ambushed him like a German spy.

“Woah, Tiger,” Shane laughed into Ryan’s mouth, bending down to kiss him nonetheless.

“You are... so hot,” Ryan huffed against him, already pushing him backward towards the bed, each word punctuated with a bruising kiss.

“W-Wha—“ Shane said, bewildered, still chuckling as Ryan pinned him into the mattress, hips astride his own, mouth cutting a searing trail down the line of his jaw and neck, mouthing at his clavicles.

It dawned on him when Ryan looked up at his face with dark, enamoured eyes. “Oh, you are  _such_ a cliche,” he shook his head, eyes crinkling with amusement at the idea of Ryan getting all hot and bothered over him showing his sweet side.

“What can I say,” Ryan mumbled against his skin, sucking a hickey just under the skin of his ear, biting the lobe playfully. “I like a family man.”

_ “ Clearly _ _,”_ Shane snorted— half a moan as Ryan dragged their hips together slowly, hands brushing over the stubble of his jaw.

“Shut up and let me suck you off, idiot,” Ryan grinned, pecking Shane on the cheek before sliding down his long body, sitting back on the balls of his feet.

And he did, remaining wordless in favour of the small moans that punched their way out of him as Ryan held his hips down, kissing the whiskery inside of his thigh, hands smoothing broad, warm strokes down his legs as he gave Shane what was possibly the best blowjob of his life, leaving him coming with his hips canting precariously off the bed and Ryan’s name on the tip of his tongue. They lay in each others’ arms after, Ryan tucked against his chest as usual, where he would remain until early morning, woken by the soft babbles of the baby—  their baby, just down the hall.

“I’ll get it,” Shane mumbled against the shell of his ear, pressing a chaste kiss to his temple.

“No,” Ryan said, voice thick and bleary with sleep. His arms snaked around Shane’s waist, tugging him close, back into his warmth. “A few more minutes...” his hand snaked to the waistband of Shane’s cotton pyjama pants, “I’ll make it worth it,” he promised into the crook of his neck.

And he did, and Shane wondered if this was going to be the new normal for them— lazy blowjobs in early morning light, the smell of brewing coffee filling the kitchen alongside easy laughs and gentle smiles. Fond looks between him and Ryan as they took turns putting the baby to sleep, half-hearted bickering over who they take after more.

_A life defined by its tenderness,_ Shane thought, _was not a bad way to live at all._

He turned to Ryan, newly-awake and grinning in his bliss. He pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, “You ready, little guy?”

“Oh,” Ryan said, rolling out of bed, snaking an arm around Shane’s waist, “I’m ready, baby. Bring it on.”

And Shane smiled as they walked hand-in-hand towards their future, knowing that so long as he had Ryan and Lucia by his side, it was looking ardently bright.

**Author's Note:**

> Is it even a kid fic without Ikea and its impossible furniture? I don't even _like_ kid-fics all that much but this was delightful to write. Anon, you may have changed my mind, so kudos to yo on that. I know Ryan gets a rep for being an amazing dad in fics but Shane as a dad? Precious. I totally see Shane as the dad who stresses over everything and ends up bonding with the baby when he's left to his own devices and I totally went with that while writing this. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this, please check out my other works and feel free to send me some requests on [tumblr](https://ryansunsolved.tumblr.com/ask) or down in the comments below!


End file.
